ARCHIVES - George Lee Cunningham

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June 1, 2022

BLOWOUT IN THE FAST LANE: A LOVE STORY

BLOW OUT IN THE FAST LANE

It sometimes seems as though all your plans goes off the track at once. First one thing goes wrong, than another, and before you know it you’re standing on the rocky shoulder of an offramp, just east of Tucson, sick as a dog and wondering if you somehow pissed off the Gods.

We had been on our way to Florida, pulling out of the driveway shortly after sunrise, ready for a quick 700-mile dash to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico – Carmela with Henry the Wonder Dog on her lap and me at the wheel.

We were on our way to Florida to visit family. We had planned a quick two-night stop in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, to see my pal Jonathan Beaty and his wife Linda. Seven hundred one miles, but that was OK because I was feeling strong as I pulled out of the driveway and headed east.

Except, of course, for that slight, early-morning sore throat, that I was hoping would get better as we cleared California and pushed east across Arizona. But it didn’t get better. In face, it got worse as we drove.

So I did what all manly men do. I ignored it and pushed on. I’m not a sissy. A little sore throat was not going to slow me down. Mind over matter. Blah Blah Blah.

So we got to Truth or Consequences shortly before sunset, checked in, ate and fell exhausted into bed. I planned to meet with my pal – no women, just us – for breakfast early the next morning. Then we’d all get together later – ladies too – for an early dinner.

Jonathan and I disagree about many things, but he is an extremely intelligent man and his opinions are never cookie-cutter crap that was hand-fed to him by a teacher, a preacher, or society in general. I have never had an extended talk with Jonathan that I didn’t come away a better perspective on life and the nature of all of us sharing the same planet.

Our talk over breakfast extended until well past noon, sitting in his truck, looking out over Elephant Butte state park and lake and sharing stories and opinions. It was a good talk, both enlightening and enjoyable. But by the time it came to say good-bye, I was feeling so ill, so tired, and so drained that all I could think about was lying down in bed until I either felt better or died – whichever came first.

I begged off getting together that evening, and returned to the room, where Carmela and Henry were waiting. I was hoping to feel better the next morning, when we planned to make the long drive to Fort Stockton in Texas. But when the time came, I was feeling worse than I had the day before.

If you’ve never been to Fort Stockton, it’s a nice town, but not the place you want to get stuck, especially if you’re sick and trying to get better for the drive across country. Don’t get me wrong. I like Texans and I like West Texas, but it’s a long way from everywhere, not where you want to get stuck, especially if you’re feeling like chipped beef on toast (SOS to you former jarheads)

So we decide to head back home – seven hundred one miles back – although we didn’t think we’d be able to make the entire journey without overnighting somewhere along the way. But then the hours passed, and so did the miles, and we were really cranking westbound along Interstate 10, thinking if I could just hold out, maybe we could make it all the way home.

And then it happened – in the fast lane, just east of Tucson at 80 mph plus – our left-rear tire gave up the ghost with an explosive poof and our mad rush became a wobbly disaster. We made it slowly across four lanes of heavy traffic and down a half-mile-long, off-ramp to no where.

And there I was. Sick, stranded, and wanting more than anything to just crawl off to the far shoulder into the litter and weeds piled against the chain link fence, and lay there until the Gods decided what to do with my stinking and rotting corpse.

But that wasn’t really an option since Carmela was there and she wasn’t feeling sick, and she would never allow her husband to feel so sorry for himself that he would even think such a thought, so I bucked up.

I had no choice.

We were parked on an rocky incline, I had never changed a tire on the truck, the spare was tucked and locked up under the bed of the truck, I had no idea of where the jack was stowed or the lug wrench, so as Carmela called the Auto Club, I went through the manual that came with the truck, and discovered the jack and lug wrench was stowed against the rear wall behind the seat inside the cab.

In the end, the Auto Club sent roadside assistance to us within just a little more than half-an-hour. The story didn’t end there. Getting the spare unlocked and lowered was a job in itself that required both the keys to the truck and a crank that fit through a special portal at the read of the vehicle.

Even with the lovely man from the auto club – a 59-year-old former resident of San Diego who sold his home, bought a similar brand new home in Tucson for a couple of thousand grand less – it was a tough job. The ground was all hard and jagged stones, the truck was parked on a steep slant, and the temperature was in the mid-90s – cool for Tucson, but a little warm for sissies like us.

But he got it done. Then there was a decision to make. Spend the night in Tucson and try to get the blown tire replaced the next morning or head for home. For Carmela and me the decision was clear. We would go for it. If the spare or some other tire failed on the way home, we would cross that bridge when we came to it.

So with sunset just an hour or so away and 424 miles still to go, we started driving. I drove first, then in Phoenix, Carmela took the wheel. The sun was down, but the western sky was aglow for a couple of hours afterwards as we sped east along the interstate.

I was still sick, but it was almost a magical time – Carmela and me racing across the desert, passing trucks and slow-pokes on our long dash home. We traded off again in Quartzsite, Arizona with a last minute fill-up of cheap Arizona gas, then headed west with me at the wheel.

We arrived home, exhausted, at one-minute before midnight. I immediately collapsed on the couch, Carmela unloaded some essentials from the car, then fell asleep as well.

As sick as I was, and as tired as I felt, it was a lovely and loving experience as well as an adventure.

We didn’t get a new tire until almost a week later, but it didn’t matter. We were home, we were safe, and I was once again feeling strong.

Carmela is my hero, and I hope that I will always be hers.

– George Lee Cunningham

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May 16, 2022

Say It Isn’t So

While California politicians fret about plastic straws getting stuck in turtle snouts and debate the exact number of genders that fit on the head of a pin, an ecological disaster is brewing not far from where all that hot air is being emitted. If the California delta-area levees are damaged in an earthquake it could have profound and lasting effects on everyone in the state. Read More HERE

Royal Regrets?

Henry VIII may have defied the pope and changed British history to marry Anne Boleyn – mother of Queen Elizabeth I – but he also had her beheaded so he could marry Jane Seymour. Was he later sorry he executed the mother of his child? Some historians think so. Read More HERE

May 15, 2022

THE FINAL SCORE

THE MOVING FINGER WRITES: AND HAVING WRIT, MOVES ON; NOR ALL THY PIETY NOR WIT SHALL LURE IT BACK TO CANCEL HALF A LINE, NOR ALL THY TEARS WASH OUT A WORD OF IT – the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam — ILLUSTRATION by Edmond J. Sullivan

As a person who has strayed off the path a few times in life, I have a soft spot for other folks who have done the same, whether they ended up in jail or not.

Maybe it’s because people who have never screwed up just don’t seem to be trying hard enough. And they’re certainly not nearly as interesting as the people who did.

People screw up because they get greedy, because they get careless, and sometimes just because they get curious. They break the rules, stray outside the confines of respectable behavior, and explore their dark sides. They may wander into the ethical weeds on their own adventures and often end up paying an emotional and social price for it.

The people who screw up tend to irritate the hard-working, decent folk who don’t, and I understand that. The good folks, who obey all the rules, who manage to resist temptation, who stop at all the red lights, show up for work on time, do a good job, and collect a fat pension at the end may be the backbone of society, but to me they just aren’t as interesting as those who wander off course.

Of course, there is a third category, which is larger than one might think. These are the so-called respectable, hard-working folks, who have secret lives.

They’re ones who go home and beat their wives, terrorize their children, and drink themselves into a stupor. The ones who slap their friends and associates on the back, then berate the hired help. Or maybe their more sinister counterparts – the ones who exploit children, take advantage of the weaker members of society, and never lose a moment of sleep over it.

These folks are always assholes, and sometimes downright evil. That’s all they are, that’s all they are ever going to be. And when they finally die, one-by-one, the world becomes, one-by-one, a slightly nicer place.

Most of us, whether we like it or not, are a combination of all three types. And when we grow old – if we grow old – and we begin to tally up our score, we get a clearer picture of what it all meant.

What was important, what was not, and how we did. When you tally it all up, it’s either pass or fail.

Will the world be a little bit better without you in it or a little worse? Only you know the answer.

– George Lee Cunningham

April 18, 2022

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN, JIGGETY JIG

Gulfport George

When I left Florida headed for California in 1969, I thought that except for visits to see family, I would never return. Happiness back then was seeing Florida in my rear-view mirror as I sped west.

Why would you want to go to California, my Floridian family and friends kept asking me. People are crazy out there, they’d warn.

And that was precisely why I wanted to go. Because I was crazy too – completely nuts in fact. In California I would fit right in. In California, I could be whoever I wanted to be. People in California were laid back, they were right-wingers, left-wingers, middle-of-the roaders, teetotalers and drug dealers.

There was, of course, the rule of law, but so many people stepped over the line so much of the time, that it was almost expected.

Now, I find myself headed back east to the state where I grew up, for many of the same reasons that I left.

Florida is now the state where you can be whoever you want to be. It’s a state that – for the time being at least – values personal freedom and the individual’s right to choose his own path. It’s a state that works – much as California used to work when I arrived in 1969.

It’s not just the changes in this once amazing state that has me looking eastward. Over the past 50-odd years, I’ve also re-discovered the importance of family. Many decades ago, when my mother and father separated and then a few years later, when my father died, my family consisted of four people, my mother, my two brothers, and me. The rest of the clan – the uncles and aunts and cousins that were from my father’s side – became a part of the past, as had my father himself.

A few years ago, I received a Facebook message from my cousin Susan Hencin, asking if I was the George Cunningham who used to live in Florida. I hesitated to answer. Did I really want to add to the complexity in my life of an extended family that had disappeared back when I was in my teens?

Carmela convinced me that I did. Carmela is of Italian descent. Her father was born in Sicily and her mother’s parents across the narrow Strait of Messina in Calabria. To Carmela’s father, she and her siblings were half-breeds, only half Sicilian. But the one cultural touchstone for people on both sides of the strait, was that family was valued above all else.

When Susan contacted us, my brother Bill was not too interested in re-establishing the relationship. Although he was too young at the time to remember the split, he remained bitter about the hard times my mother and we boys faced trying to eke out a living on our own. I was older at the time of my parents’ separation and maybe because I had more time and memories with those cousins, I was more willing to re-establish family ties.

On Carmela’s advice, I answered the inquiry and opened the door to an entire family of people whom I remembered only as small children, the girls in puffy skirts and the boys in short pants. They are now all senior citizens, as are we.

As it turned out, my brother Bill died in the years since my cousins and I reunited. My mother has been gone for more than 20 years, and my brother Chuck tragically died in his 20s. Carmela and I remain close with Bill’s wife, Susan Tucker and with her new husband Jeff, and I’m very interconnected with Carmela’s large and rambling family. But, those missing cousins of mine are the only blood relatives I have.

Nightlife for Old Guys

Although I love and enjoy all of my cousins, Carmela and I have established a special relationship with two of them – Susan’s youngest sister, Nancy Hoffman and her husband Roger. They live in Gulfport – a town of fishermen, carpenters, and other craftsmen back when I was a kid – but now a charming and kinky village by the sea. It has a large gay population with a laid-back vibe that embraces all kind of folks from grumpy retirees to flamboyant artists and a downtown shopping area that includes independent restaurants, bars, art galleries, souvenir shops, farmers’ markets, and sidewalk vendors.

Carmela loves it. She loves that she can walk everywhere. She loves doing yoga on the sand as the sun comes up over the Gulf. She loves that almost every restaurant looks the other way as she wheels in Henry, riding in his ill-disguised baby carriage.

Hardly anybody is wearing a mask in Florida these days, and those who do – mostly visitors from the north – start peeling them off after a few hours of feeling out of place in a world of smiles and chatter.

Is it a perfect place? No way.

Property prices have shot up in Florida in recent years as folks flee from places like California, Illinois, New York, and other locked-down and up-tight locales. And Florida, unlike California, is hot and sticky in the summer, smack in the danger zone during the annual hurricane season, and full of creepy-crawly bugs and reptiles.

But does our future lie in the place that I once fled.

Maybe.

– George Lee Cunningham