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Let’s start with this simple premise. I love my wife. I do. And I tell her so, all the time. But I think the question for men is how often do you tell your wife you love her, and when does it get to be stifling?

There is no simple answer.

I used to think from time-to-time that I was beginning to understand women. I was an idiot. The answer is no matter how long a man is around women, he never truly knows what makes them tick.

And vice-versa. Women don’t really understand men or why we do the things we do. We are the same species, but totally different in our perspectives on life.

It’s like when you’re riding along the highway, while your woman is prattling on about this or that, you are nodding and going along because women have nice voices and it’s pleasant to listen to them, much like listening to the birdies sing in the trees or a cow mooing in the pasture.

“Hmm,” you might say, from time to time or maybe “Yeah…” or “Ah-Huh.”

But then, suddenly, she might ask, “What do you really think about that?” And you realize that you have no idea what “that” is or what you should be thinking about “that.”

So, you fumble around and say, “I don’t know, what do you think about it?”

And then the pleasant drive with the soothing prattle of a woman sitting in the seat next to you is over. She just told you what she thinks about it, you fool, and your answer is insulting.

The next words out of her mouth are not soothing at all. And even worse than that is the silence of hurt feelings that follows.

Which brings me back to the subject. How much should you tell a woman you love her and when is it too much? The answer is that it depends on you and on your woman.

There are all kinds of “I love yous.”

A man is rushing out the door to work and as he goes out the door, he says, “Love you.”

That means nothing. It’s just a substitute for “good-bye.”

Saying I love you on Valentines Day or on her birthday, is a cheap “something you got to do,” comment.

In my particular case, I tell my wife I love her several times a day. But I have to admit there are degrees of “I love you” that apply.

For instance, I usually tell my wife I love her because I do, and I want her to know.

Then, sometimes I tell her I love her merely because she likes to hear it, at least I think she does.

And, some other times, I tell her I love her to remind myself that I really do love her, despite the fact that she is driving me so nuts with unreasonable ideas and demands that I have to remind myself not to reach over and smack her and then feel badly about it later.

“I love you” several times a day works for us. It may not work for you and your spouse.

But that’s your problem, and good luck with working it out.

– George Lee Cunningham

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